Eric Online

Declutterization January 27, 2012

This past weekend I went on a massive cleaning spree. It started with me just tidying up a table, then I found a book that I needed to make room on the shelf for, so these old textbooks need to go, and I guess I should sweep behind this, and what if I just rearrange this entire room, and…

I’m feeling a lot less cluttered now, both in my room and IN MY MIND. My room looks positively barren now, save for the large table taking up a good third of the floor space.  But I did find some cool stuff I had completely forgotten about! Among the loot, I found:

• A really nice looking wallet. This must’ve been a Christmas present (from either 2009 or 2010) that I never got around to unpacking. It has taken the place of my dilapidated leather wallet.
• Two, count ‘em, two BFF bracelets. This should have a great deal of significance for those who went on the 2010 Spring Break service mission trip to Texas.
• A couple of old Halloween costumes, the pinball machine and the YouTube video. I finally just threw them out.
• A stack of encouraging notes, which I consolidated with a collection of old photos.
• My old organizer, which finally got the boot. It’s just been encouraging me to hang on to old junk.

So there you have it. And again, don’t count on me continuing this whole “regular posting” thing. It’s probably just a phase.

Tonight is going to be a good night.

Under ideal conditions, you could have made it to Mars since my last post January 25, 2012

Hello…? Hello…? Hello…? Hello…?

Man, it’s like walking into an abandoned concert hall… The wooden floors creaking beneath a thin layer of dust, crisp and undisturbed as a new morning’s snow-fall, a gossamer of cobwebs suspended from the wall-mounted lights, their shimmering bronze finish long-since faded, the whole nine yards.

I haven’t posted in nine months. For those of you that actually use(d) my site for a dose of comedy or just to know what the latest happenings in my life are, I’m sorry! I’m a terrible person to have abandoned you like that. The fact of the matter is that interesting things stopped happening to me about the time I got an actual job with actual responsibilities.

Now, this isn’t some kind of resolution to start posting everyday or something like that, so don’t get your hopes up. This is more of a quick recap of what has happened since last I posted:

• I got a promotion! I’m now the manager of the Computer Depot in Seymour, and also the only person actually there most of the day. I finally have the chance to impose some order on the untamed snarl of miscellaneous cables and haphazardly stacked PCI card. As soon as I actually catch up on these managerial responsibilities.
• I got a guitar! Not on load from my sister anything, but my own acoustic 6-string. And it is not easy! I will seriously say that violin is easier to play. At least with that you only need to worry about one, maybe two notes at a time. Guitar is like Twister for your hand. I don’t think my fingers are supposed to bend like this. Also I have been doing a bit more melodica.
• Our Minecraft server is still up and running, though I rarely play nowadays. Having a full-time job means less free time, so I have to be careful with what I do with the precious little I have. For video games, most of my playtime still goes to Team Fortress 2. I’ve had a bit of fun with the new in-game replay editor, capturing some of my favorite moments. It just struck me that people who have never seen the game before will have no clue what is going on in that video.
• Also one other thing, yet to be named on the ole’ Internets. But there are a sizable number of people who know what I’m talking abYES I MEAN YOU, LURKING ON THIS BLOG. HELLO. THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY. IT’S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU OVER, PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT WHILE I GET THE TEA BREWING.

Lickety Split January 30, 2011

And now, an amusing anecdote about keeping one’s cool:

This particular Sunday, I was scheduled to lead singing at Laurel. Nothing really unusual was planned for the service. A few familiar songs, some less familiar, but I felt comfortable enough with everything.

We made it through the first half of the service without a problem. No microphone malfunctions, no botched songs, all was going fine. I sat down for the sermon and got my music ready for the final two songs. I crossed my legs and got comfortable. Looking down, I saw my sock was annoyingly visible. When I sat down, my pants were a little too high up on my legs. So, fidgeting in my seat, I begin to tug on my pant legs to get a bit more slack. On the final tug for the left leg, wherein my trouser situation would be resolved, I felt far more slack than was to be expected. Feeling around, I noted a rather large gap in the fabric.

Uh-oh.

A bit of casual damage assessment indicated the breach was right where my shirt ended. The rip itself would be out of sight, but the hole sagged into view. As the lesson began, I started to weigh my options. I decided to seek out some tools to mend the tear. Cautiously keeping my back to the wall, I sidled out into the hall. I stopped at the bathroom to double-check my original assessment and confirmed my suspicions on the hole’s placement.

Dipping back through the hall, I popped in to the nearby office. Spying the workroom just ahead, it dawned on me that a needle and thread is unlikely to be included in the standard set of office supplies. Still, I stood resolute in the idea that I would find something of use.

Scotch tape was the first item I happened upon, but I knew it wouldn’t hold for long on fabric. The nearby scissors would help in dealing with loose thread, but ultimately wouldn’t do much for repairing the breach. Then I spotted the stapler.

Now, understand that I knew how terrible the idea seemed, but when one is in a situation of this gravity, the best solution, no matter how awful, must win out. So I grabbed the stapler and started twisting my pants around. To say this was a difficult angle in an understatement. I knew removing my pants would make things much simpler, but I’ve seen enough sitcoms to know that can’t end well.

I managed to get a few staples in to hold the hole shut. It wasn’t a full fix, but the tear was now confined to the area about the end of my shirt. I slipped back in to the auditorium for the rest of the lesson and managed to lead the last few songs. I just made sure not to move around much.