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Squirrels April 5, 2005

Posted by eric22222 in General, Personal Favorites.

Currently humming: “Great Things He hath Done”
I found out today that someone else made all the trees for the model. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing anymore… I guess I’ll just worry about my visitor center. I need to come up with a few ideas for it, just some basic design strategies. I’m not too worried about it. I’ll just do it tomorrow before 122.
So much for homework. Being without a bike for days has left me with more time to day dream.This being the case, I feel that squirrels should be domesticated. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a squirrel for a pet? Like in your dorm or something. You could make some hamster-tube-type things for it to run around in, or you could just give it run of the room. Maybe you could take a few limbs and duct tape them to your ceiling to make a sort of dorm canopy habitat, or DCH.
In order to have a healthy squirrel, make sure your DCH is in the best condition it can be. Change the duct tape at least quarterly, but don’t tape over the old tape; make sure to remove the original tape before applying the new layer. Keep your squirrel well supplied with a water/food bowl in a corner of the DCH. Make a fence of duct tape around any light fixtures to protect your squirrel. If he gets too close, he’ll be suspended in a web of tape. He’ll slowly learn to keep away. After the first few months, you can take down the fence to improve the quality of DCH lighting. The concept of the web can be employed to make a nest for your squirrel, if you so desire.
Squirrels can be trained for minor helpful tasks around the dorm. Positive reinfrcement is the main term for squirrel training. Take the squirrel’s paw and force it through the task. Immediately afterwards, give it either a dog treat or an acorn (preferably the latter). If the squirrel repeats the task, give him another. If not, show him again. Repeat for thirty minutes (for short tasks and smart squirrels, this could lead to an overweight squirrel, so use 30 minute rule wisely). Squirrels can be trained to clean up after themselves, sharpen pencils, and complete scholarship applications for you (latter occurs in 80th percentile of squirrels).
Squirrels are social creatures and require a certain level of companionship. Be sure to take your squirrel for a walk at least three times a week. Squirrels also enjoy a good game of catch from time to time. Acorns make excellent objects to retrieve. If desired, the squirrel can be tossed to a friend for a combination of fun and training your squirrel to fly (if of the flying variety ONLY).
Following these guidelines, you’ll be well on your way to a happy, healthy relationship with your squirrel.
This guide made possible by the National Federation for the Domestication of Squirrels (NFDS)



1. Tammy - April 4, 2005

Eric, you have the best imagination in the world. I stand in awe of your huge intellegence and ablity to use it!!!! And your infactuation with squirels is unsurpassed!!!!!! Viva la Squirels!!!!

2. Wheezy - April 4, 2005

No Words…well, but I guess these will have to do…sheer awesomeness..hahahaha!!!

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