jump to navigation

E-Commerce August 26, 2005

Posted by eric22222 in General, Personal Favorites.

Currently listening to: the hum from the A&A building’s AC

Blogs: full update
Halloween costume: under design process
Homework: Actually, not bad
HP: 12/15
Rant level: critical!

I have some stuff to get off my chest. But it will require all the blogging tools at my disposal. Italics, bold, you name it.

We’ve all noticed the efforts of the timber industry. They have exciting news, apparently. But woodsmen are smart. They knew how to get their message out:

Scene: Timber industy’s global headquarters
President: Computer, current status on project TREE.
ALICE: Project TREE complete. Ready for phase two.
President: Excellent. Begin advertisement. Soon, the world will be throwing its money at us…
ALICE: Cannot complete operation.
President: WHAT?! Elaborate!
ALICE: Insufficient funds.
President: Blast! I will not be defeated this easily! E-mail filters are too powerful for us… How can we get the word out about trees?!
???: Perhaps I can make a suggestion?
President: What? Who’s there?! Oh, it’s just my diligent lackey.
Diligent Lackey: Yes, sir. Perhaps we could leave comments on people’s blogs?
President: Genius! Began recruitment immediately!
Diligent Lackey: Yes, sir.
President: Ha ha ha…MWAH HA HA!!!
ALICE: If I had emotion, I could laugh with you.
President: Quiet you!
ALICE: *sniff* Initiating crying.

And so began the hostile commenting. News about timber was posted everywhere, but people soon learned how to delete, or even make fun of these comments. All seemed lost for the timber industry, until a new strategy was developed: The buddy spam.

A blog was created by a spammer for about a week. Generally under an assumed identity of someone who would have experience with trees (eg. forest ranger). After this initial blogging week, post is set up descrobing the timber industry’s news in a I-saw-it-for-myself tone. The spam-blogger, or splogger, then comments on EVERYONE’s blog with a vague “good blog” message, such as “I like your blog” or even “you know what you doing.” The splogger ends the comment with “check out my blog here.” You go there, and see the exciting news. You think he/she is just a friendly blogger, so you take his/her word for it. And by then, it’s too late.

So how can you protect yourself? First off, check the potential splogger’s profile. If it has had profile views into the thousands, even though only having posts dating back to last week, it’s a splogger. And if that doesn’t work, you are in serious danger of losing all your money. But don’t worry. I have good news from the insurance industry! You can get a $50,000 splogger insurance plan from N-Surance Online! My friend tried it the other day, and she lost 35 dress sizes! Don’t let another minute go by! We’re running out of stock. This WORKS! If you would like to be removed from the list, e-mail us your entire credit card and then forward this to 50 people!




1. crittermer - August 26, 2005

Haha! That was great, Eric! You most certainly have the gift of comedy writing.

2. Anonymous - August 30, 2005

where did you get your creativity from?

3. Loraine - August 31, 2005

i sold it to him. $50 per bottle.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: