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I’d like to thank the academy March 31, 2006

Posted by eric22222 in General.

Currently listening to: “Shine Like Stars” by Holland

Okay, I think I had a heart attack from all the tension tonight. This evening was the seventh CSC event: the poetry slam. Now, I’m not much for poetry, but I definitely played my strengths. First off, math. When only four people sign up for it, I’m guaranteed to place. Secondly, making people laugh. I’ll get to how that helped me out in a minute. Thirdly, charisma. I just let loose and did what came to me at the time.

Brad went first. His poem is actually a trimmed (very trimmed) version of the novel he’s writing. Even with major plot elements cut, he still clocked in at about thirty minutes total for his two part presentation. I’ve really been looking forward to hearing his story for some time now; it’s been pretty hush-hush. He was also my main competition yet again. He brought some people from his poetry class, some of which read some of their poetry. Joel was second in line. Being good at poetry, his poem was dark and depressing.

I went after him. Mine was similar to Brad’s: an epic divided into two parts. However, not having an understanding of the technicalities behind poetry, I didn’t have the complex rhyming patterns Brad maintained. I was lucky in my placement, being right after a sad poem. My poem was intended to make people laugh. It was chock-full of CSC inside jokes (the duck of doom, Brad’s broken English, and Chuck Norris were all at least mentioned). I also made a HUGE use of voice and movement. I essentially acted out everything I read, doing different voices and sound effects. One other thing which I always enjoy doing in writing is reminded the audience that I’m telling the story; I comment on myself. I mentioned the convenient plot devices and anticlimactic parts.

I believe I was followed by another member of Brad’s class. Zach wasn’t there, but still presented via speakerphone on my cell. Alexander finished out the first round. Second round was in a different order that saw Brad finishing his story second to last and me ending the slam.

When the scores were totaled, Brad and I had tied for the top of the CSC participants. The judges met and decided to have a rhyme-off. They had us draw a random sylable and create a four-couplet poem. After asking what a couplet was, I drew the sound “cat.” I put some heavy thought into it, still building my rhymes while coming up after time was called. Finally, I gave my poem:

I was walking one day in my black top hat
and saw an unlucky site: on my path, a black cat.
I knew it was only superstition and left it at that,
and I headed down to the store to buy a new bat.
At this point, the store is where I was at,
and I decided on the gray, aluminum bat.
But why would someone have waxed the mat?!
I slipped and flattened my favorite hat.

Something like that. I dunno. I lucked out though; Brad stumbled on his words during his. I managed to walk away with not only my first 1st place win, but also my first victory over Brad! I’ve been precisely one place under him any time I’ve been in the top four.

And no, I’m not going to post my poem. Reading it is no where near as good. Presentation is the only thing I got by on, ’cause it certainly wasn’t poetry skills.



1. Zachary - April 1, 2006

you should post a recording of u saying it, u have what it takes

2. Tammy - April 1, 2006

First, why is your title backwards? That’s cool. Anyway, I know you and your abillity to improvise so I really missed a treat. Congrats on your victory over dude! I love the cat themed poem too. Funny stuff. If you do post the recording, I’d download it post haste!

3. Mer - April 2, 2006

Congrats, Eric! I’m sorry I missed your presentation, but maybe I’ll be treated to an encore in Malaysia (hint hint.)

4. Eric Online » Finally at last! - July 18, 2006

[…] Last night, I recited my poem to the team. I think Brad was the only one who had heard it before. (Cross-reference) After Brad read his poem to us a few weeks back, I was asked to read mine. We didn’t have enough time that day, so I put it off. This continued for a while, until we finally had a time where we remembered and were able to hear it. And now I’m going to post it online for all to see. First things first, though. You need to be versed in all the CSC jokes that are used (here at Eric Online, we don’t discriminate against non-CSCers; this is an equal opportunity blog). […]

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