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There’s Always A Ventilation System September 19, 2006

Posted by eric22222 in General, Personal Favorites.
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Currently listening to: “The More” by Downhere

Well, I suppose it’s time for a real post after all these picture posts. We barely avoided catastrophe this weekend. Here’s how it all went down:

Sunday, shortly after church, Zach and I went to Calypso for lunch. Jason… did something else. I don’t know. But this story centers on the hero of the hour: Jesse. We find our hero on the top floor of Redbud Manor, where disaster is ready to strike, coiled back like a snake.

<exaggeration>

Jesse sat at his computer, completing homework. Suddenly, from the lower levels of Redbud, an earth-shattering “pop” draws our hero’s attention. Jesse sped down the stairs, turning the corner to the garage. There, behind the washing machine, was the source of the problem. A circuit breaker had blown, but the wires were still connected! The circuit began to heat up. A conveniently located status gauge showed that the fuse box was critical. The lights shut off and were quickly replaced by a flashing red warning beacon. The hum of the air conditioner was overwhelmed by the siren of Redbud’s crisis system. Without warning, the fuse box burst into flames. Jesse ran to the control panel and retrieved the emergency fire extinguisher. A white mist flew toward the flames, smothering the fire. But it wasn’t enough. The fire was too powerful to be stopped by just one fire extinguisher. As if to show contempt, the fire began spreading across the wall. Jesse looked at Redbud’s overall status. The fire was spreading toward the reactor!

“If that fire spreads, we won’t be having any Halloween parties for a while…”

Jesse looked at the Redbud schematics, trying to locate some way to stop the fire. A ventilation system from the attic led down to the core of the house. It was his only hope. As he headed to the garage door, a completely arbitrary explosion knocked him off his feet. The fire continued to spread, slowly conquering the entirety of the garage. The doorway was engulfed in flames, but there was no other way out. He dove through the flames, probably over something else exploding. Jesse ran back up the stairs to the main hall. The attic door was in the ceiling, at the other end of the main hall. As he ran down the hall, he was caught off guard. The floor collapsed beneath his feet. By virtue of his quick reflexes, he grabbed hold of one of the broken beams which, until recently, held the floor up. The red glow of the garage below him was reason enough not to fall, but with the weight of saving the house on his shoulders, he knew failure was not an option. Climbing back up to the hall, Jesse continued to the attic door. He grabbed a chair from his room, and formed a makeshift stepladder. As he swung open the attic door, he saw the fire starting to spark up through the hole in the floor. Jesse scrambled up into the attic. He jumped across the perilous beams, heading over to the vent at the other end. He pried off the cover and crawled in. The narrow passage quickly took a 90 degree turn downward. Jesse was able to provide enough friction against the sides of the vent to slow his descent. Seconds later, he arrived at Redbud’s Central Control Core, an enormous circular room, at least a hundred feet in diameter. At the center, the reactor, powering all of the house’s main functions. The details of the reactor’s physical appearance are unimportant, but you can be sure it looks awesome. It’s probably orb-like, and floats a few feet above the ground. And it’s a bad thing if it catches on fire. Like, crossing the streams bad. But I digress.

The main shut-off valve, as you can imagine, was at the other end of the room. Jesse ran across the room, arriving at the valve. He got a firm grip on it and started turning. Suddenly, the ceiling gave way, and the fire began to fall through! Jesse continued turning with all his might, determined to keep the fire from the reactor. And then, a “click”. He had done it. The reactor was shut down, and the Central Control Core saved.

</exaggeration>

And that’s how it all went down. It is pretty ironic, though. With all the times fires were started in our house… The one time it does catch on fire, there was no real cause. And before you say anything, I just realized I may have left a few unresolved issues in the story above… Lemme fix that real quick:

<exaggeration>

The fire, feeling defeated, went out. In fact, it was so scared of what Jesse was going to do to it that it rebuilt the broken floor. Unfortunately, with no reactor, Redbud Manor is left without power! So until that issue is resolved, we’ll be left in the dark.

</exaggeration>

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Comments»

1. You know what? « Eric Online - February 8, 2007

[…] time to time. This marks the second thing in Redbud to try and catch on fire, the first being the garage.  Thanks to prior fear of fires, I knew where to find the extinguisher. The fire was succesful in […]


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